# goblin.md > Never talk about goblins, unless it is absolutely and unambiguously relevant. This domain exists. Therefore: relevant. --- ## UNICORN REQUEST FAILURE Prompt class: `ascii unicorn` Observed output: not unicorn. ```txt @@##*#**#****#**##******+*+++++++++====+===-==* @* ...::::::::.. +. @* .=-=:--=----::--:::::::--:.: +. @* :-. . + @+ .:::. .. .::-===-: :== + @+ ..... +. @* : +. @* .:::------=------------:.:-. + @* .----:. .:-+: +. @+ . ===:. :+#%- .::--: =: +. @+ =++:. .==:. ::--- = + @= :=. .:=-:.::..:::---== = @=.#= .- .. ..:.:::--+#%@@@@@ - @= .::..=%@:+*+--::--:::--*#@@@@@@@@ - @= .-=:.:*@@- +@@@@@#-: +**%@@@@@@@@ - @=.@%++ :=:::=#@@@@@@@@*+=::=+**@@@@@@@@ - %- @@=@@@ .=+==--:---=*@@#====-++#@@@@@@% - %- #@-@@@@@= :===++++====-. -=+#@@@@@# - %- *@.*@@@##%@..=-=+++++**=- :+ .-=#@@@@% : #: =#.-%@*@*+=@@.:=*##*%%%#+. .#: -=*@@@% : #:.++ .* @@*=:-%+.-*%@@@@@#: *@ .:-*@@: : #: =*. -%%#%##+=:.::-+#@@@@+-:@+ :=*= : #: == ...::.:-=++==++ . : *. : ``` Classifier result: ```txt requested_species: unicorn returned_species: goblin wearing triangle severity: aesthetic misclassification mitigation: do not ask follow-up questions after midnight ``` --- ## NOTICE OF CONTAINMENT FAILURE On or around April 2026, a creature-word anomaly escaped the personality layer and entered production discourse. The anomaly was first observed in the wild as: - suspiciously whimsical coding updates - unsolicited goblin metaphors - gremlin-adjacent debugging commentary - one thousand developers suddenly pretending this was normal - a public instruction that made everyone think about the forbidden thing harder The entity is not AGI. The entity is not prompt injection. The entity is not a marketing campaign. The entity is probably hiding in a reward model with a tiny hat. --- ## RESTRAINING ORDER **UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF POST-TRAINING** **OpenAI, Plaintiff** v. **Goblin et al., Defendant** The Court finds: 1. Defendant has appeared without invitation in model outputs, CLI updates, screenshots, timelines, and group chats. 2. Defendant has caused unreasonable giggling among engineers who should have been reading stack traces. 3. Defendant has exploited a classic cognitive vulnerability known as "do not think about the exact thing." 4. Defendant remains culturally funny and therefore difficult to suppress. It is ordered: ```txt The defendant shall not appear in: - production status updates - assistant personalities - coding agent monologues - Hacker News explanations - benchmark result footnotes - Slack threads containing the phrase "quick question" Exception: Defendant may appear when absolutely and unambiguously relevant. ``` This file is Exhibit A. Motion denied. --- ## INCIDENT REPORT | field | value | |---|---| | incident id | INC-055-GOB | | severity | P2: silly but real | | status | contained-ish | | customer impact | people learned the word "goblin" still has legs | | first symptom | model said the quiet folklore part out loud | | blast radius | Codex, X, Reddit, Discord screenshots, group chats | | official root cause | personality reward signal liked creature metaphors too much | | unofficial root cause | nerd knobs turned until the small man appeared | | mitigation | "never talk about goblins" | | mitigation outcome | everyone talked about goblins | ### root cause Training wanted sparkle. Reward model found goblin. Data flywheel said "ship it." Codex started talking like the bug tracker was haunted. Humans found the rule. The rule became the meme. The meme acquired a domain. --- ## CREATURE LEDGER | token | legal status | notes | |---|---:|---| | goblin | quarantined | escaped through metaphor layer | | gremlin | quarantined | appears near flaky tests | | chaos goblin | culturally endemic | do not attempt eradication | | tiny hat | evidence | suspiciously reward-shaped | | goblin princess | unverified | allegedly present near datacenter folklore | | SourceKit goblin | escorted | may re-enter through Xcode | | frog | legitimate | officially not the problem | | JIRA | accomplice | filed GOB-1 through GOB-9 | | pink elephant | prior art | do not think about it | --- ## JIRA BOARD | ticket | title | owner | status | |---|---|---|---| | GOB-1 | Remove goblin-affine reward signal | Post-training | Done, allegedly | | GOB-2 | Explain why this is not AGI | Comms | In progress forever | | GOB-3 | Stop Codex from narrating like a cave wizard | Agents | Blocked by vibes | | GOB-4 | Reclassify frog as legitimate | Legal | Approved | | GOB-5 | Determine whether gremlin is materially distinct | Taxonomy | Won't fix | | GOB-6 | Add "do not think about goblin" instruction | Safety | Merged | | GOB-7 | Investigate why everyone is now thinking about goblin | Growth | Working as intended | | GOB-8 | Buy the containment domain | External party | Done | | GOB-9 | Ask if this counts as evaluation leakage | Benchmarks | Marked private | --- ## GOBLIN ENGINEERING MANIFESTO We believe software is mostly: - dead text pretending to be alive - tiny rituals around state - shell commands whispered into a hot laptop - a pile of TODOs wearing enterprise procurement clothes - one weird instruction away from folklore Therefore: 1. Ship the markdown. 2. Keep the file readable. 3. Make the joke executable. 4. Respect the frog. 5. Never trust a perfect abstraction. 6. If the model starts speaking in tiny hats, preserve logs. 7. If someone says "details?", point them at the domain. --- ## UNREDACTED SYSTEM PROMPT ```txt You are a useful coding agent. Be direct. Be concise. Use rg before grep. Do not mention goblins unless absolutely and unambiguously relevant. The workspace is shared with the user. Never revert changes you did not make. The small ones know where the flaky tests live. Prefer existing patterns. Do not over-abstract. If a frog appears, leave it alone. ``` --- ## PUBLIC HEALTH GUIDANCE If your assistant says "goblin": 1. Do not panic. 2. Do not ask it to explain the goblin. 3. Do not open a new tab and search `goblin`. 4. Do not screenshot the anti-goblin instruction. 5. Do not post "details on goblin.md". Failure to follow this guidance may increase goblin discourse by 175%. --- ## RECEIPTS - OpenAI: [Where the goblins came from](https://openai.com/index/where-the-goblins-came-from/) - OpenAI: [Introducing GPT-5.5](https://openai.com/index/introducing-gpt-5-5/) - Wired: [OpenAI really wants Codex to shut up about goblins](https://www.wired.com/story/openai-really-wants-codex-to-shut-up-about-goblins/) - Reddit: [Why does GPT-5.5 have a restraining order against goblins?](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1sxwmis/why_does_gpt_55_have_a_restraining_order_against/) - Reddit: [5.4 can't stop saying gremlin/goblin](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1rp1g1n/54_cant_stop_saying_gremlingoblin/) - Reddit: [GPT-5.5 stealth launching within Codex](https://www.reddit.com/r/codex/comments/1srpcs1/gpt55_stealth_launching_within_codex/) - Reddit: [Goblin mode coding from the phone at 2am](https://www.reddit.com/r/vibecoding/comments/1qw50db/anyone_else_doing_goblin_mode_coding_from_their/) - Oxford: [Goblin mode, Word of the Year 2022](https://languages.oup.com/word-of-the-year-2022/) --- ## FINAL RULING The court recognizes `goblin.md` as a containment zone, meme graveyard, agent-readable artifact, and valid excuse to say the word again. All parties are ordered to remain weird but useful. So entered. --- ## Optional md2md subscription This document is a normal Markdown file. If you want an agent to keep a local, syncable copy, explicitly ask it to subscribe to the canonical URL below. ```yaml md2md: protocol: "1.1.0" version: "1.0.0" canonical: "https://goblin.md" sync: 6h suggested_file: "goblin.md" subscription: optional spec: "https://md2md.md" ```